Shouldn't…but Do

Friends say I am looking thin. Pretty sure they mean in body and spirit.  From where I am sitting in my living room, I can hear two clocks ticking, out of sync with each other.

Eating less is a good all around  budgeting tool.  Less money spent on dining, big advantage perusing clothing clearance racks (small sizes predominate).

It is also true that ceaseless activity leaves no time to sit down, to allow food to inhabit me.  Restless, always shifting, to the next must-do.

Our society is focused on body image – too thin, too fat – statistics bear out concern for a burgeoning population.

Carrying more weight – energy literally held in, restlessness arrested, slowing, weighty thoughts, avenues blocked.

Less weight, atmosphere blown off, energy dissipates into space.  Lightness of being leaves no muddy footprints.  Less space consumed makes it easier to avoid being stepped on –  necessary retraction in the face of onslaught.

Discussions of weight inevitably lead to control – lack of it, too much of it.  Souls with too much to lose, souls that have lost too much.  They are one – both sorrowful.

For me?  Not to worry – my mid-day proclivity for chocolate is as robust as ever.  It is a matter of coherence – matching myself to the absent time that would allow for my own life expression.  I am just trying to fit – vanishing into thin air.