Shouldn't…but Do

Tis’ the season.

It has been a year.  Time has worn on, time has worn down.   From the perspective I love best, it has been a year of great depth.  And that is all that can, or should, be said.

Autumn stretched long this year, plentiful  time for breakdown, decomposition.  In hopes of a spring I pray one day arrives, I cleaned up part of my garden a few weeks ago.

I have a favorite pair of garden shears, bypass type.  I should call them secateurs – but they are not.  They are old, rusted, purchased a lifetime ago while living in Canada, yellow handled, maybe $10 new.

They have persevered – assisted, been left in the rain, found, stashed, forgotten, used unmercifully – and continued to work with me as I built, maintained, and still  try to save my garden.

Working in November to cut ornamental grasses, I  noticed my efforts, and my shears,  were having little effect.  Serious blades opposing each other, but no progress.  Upon inspection, the spring between the handles had broken.

I sat for awhile with my shears on that grey day, back against the faded wooden fence.  Like friends, these shears have been with me, helped me work, helped me  find pleasure and meaning  in sometimes backbreaking, mind- numbing labor done in the spirit of a greater cause, a bigger, richer landscape.

Like the spring in my shears, friends help me come back, regather energy and tension needed to do the job.  Brute, blunt force cannot accomplish what the spring in a shear, or in my step, can accomplish.  When a spring breaks, sharp, great forces dulled by loss of rebounding connection pass each other without purpose, focus lost.

My shears gave me years of service, and in their end,  gave me a precious gift realizing the quality of resilient relationship I hold so dear in friends.  Aged, maybe missing a spring, but never to be discarded,  they will always have a safe home with me.

Tis’ the season, and this is my holiday greeting, the only I have energy to send this year.  Thank you, bless you, may we all have health, and maybe a bit of happiness in the coming days and years.