Shouldn't…but Do

I thought I would be divorced by now.

But I am not.

A six-week wait for a draft Divorce Decree from counsel for X yielded a sketchy, incomplete physical rendering of a document that must capture every single detail to avoid more…confusion.  Just today, the Very Expensive Lawyer transmitted a proper draft Decree after starting the document anew.

I thought the occasion of the Great Trial settled things.

But it did not.

Shortly after the Trial, a disagreement arose over a seemingly small detail that is actually very large.  The matter may itself be heading back to a courtroom.

I thought my small home might be refinanced free and clear by now.

But it is not.

Transactions to clarify and confer new home ownership cannot occur until Divorce Decrees to clarify and confer new life ownership are signed.  Shortly, pertinent dates will pass and the refinancing must be started again.  More money, time, and effort thrown away.

I thought the spring would come.

And it did.

My presence in my bog has been slight in past weeks.  Fatigue, for me, proffers observation, not expression.  As such, one of the richest gifts of this now almost two-year ordeal is understanding the greatness of  friends associated with me.  Each one unique, yet each a dazzling thread in a luminous tapestry that stretches just far enough to catch me, each time I fall.  Tempering touch  keeps me between heaven and hell – suspended.  It is a place to Be.

So many years ago, I thought I wanted to know.

And I do.